Biker Chick Blow job Etiquette
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard
practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3- No I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule#5- do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep
throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" -get it
through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel
particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8- "Blue balls" might have worked on high school
girls- if your that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've
just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is
highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the
origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it.
See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein
content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often
enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to
"kiss it good morning".
Submitted by Biker Bob